Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Waaaagh! The Orks are coming!

Nafzug's head hurt. There was an insistent pounding that would not end, no matter how hard he wished.

"Boss! Boss! Wake up, boss!"

Nafzug realized what was causing his headache - his grot assistant, Noblitt.  Noblitt was furiously beating on Nafzug's skull with his tiny fists, trying to get his master to wake up.

Nafzug swiped at the area around his headache and connected with Noblitt, knocking away the little grot and his fists. The assistant landed with a wet squelch and muffled screech. Nafzug's head still hurt, but at least the pounding had stopped. That's when Nafzug noticed the smell. The Ork opened his eyes and was hit full on with one of those beaky-boyz plasma bursts.

That's what it felt like anyway. Once Nafzug's eyes adjusted, he realized that it was midday, and the sun was directly above his prone body. Nafzug took a deep breath of fetid air and sat up slowly. He realized that there was a reason for the smell - he was in the drops.

Things were starting to come back to him now... Last night, he and the boyz, led by Mek Wazbog, had done some serious drinking. The Mek had brewed up a batch of his famous "Wazbog's Best," a proprietary mixture of fermented squig juice, promethium, and whatever else the Mek could dredge up.

Nafzug wondered, at first, if Wazbog had tried to poison him, then dismissed the thought. The Mek was more the type to shoot you in the face with one of his insane weapons. Poisoning was for the weak humies, and possibly Blood Axes.

Nafzug then remembered that someone had the idea to go hunting for the gargantuan squig that was rumored to prowl the drops. Whose idea was that anyway...? Wazbog's? Maybe Nafzug would have to have a little "talk" with the Mek after all...

With a loud, sucking pop!, Noblitt pulled his head free of the stinking muck. Spluttering and spitting out filth, the grot began the show of helping his master up off of the ground. "I've been looking for you all morning! It's a good 'fing I found you boss!" Nafzug supposed it was - had another Ork found him lying passed out in the drops, chances were good that he wouldn't have woken up at all. He wasn't about to give the little grot any ideas though...

"Why you bovverin' me, Noblitt?" Nafzug growled through clenched teef as he made his way up the slick sides of the huge pit he was in. His head was still aching, and there was a terrible racket that was getting louder the closer he got to the lip.

Noblitt was scrabbling up the oozing walls, desperately trying to keep up with Nafzug, but failing miserably. After the fourth time of the grot tumbling back to the bottom of the pit, Nafzug sighed, reached down, and grabbed Noblitt by his scrawny neck and hoisted him up.

Nafzug continued to the top of the pit and hoisted himself over the side. Fortunately, none of the other Orks took notice of the filth-covered boss and his grot climbing out of the hole. That meant no one had to be killed - not that Nafzug had a problem with killing anyone, mind you, it's just that his head was still really aching.

Then Nafzug realized that something was happening  - the other Orks were not only not paying attention to him, they were running around in all directions, appearing to be getting ready for something. Something big. Engines were revving, exhaust filling the air, boyz were chanting and howling, grots were racing about, trying not to get crushed underfoot.

"Urk!" choked Noblitt. Nafzug became aware that he was still holding the grot by the throat. He released Noblitt and the little assistant dropped to the ground, panting and wheezing.

"Noblitt, I'z gonna ask you one more time - wha's all dis racket?"

Noblitt raised himself up out of the dirt, rubbing at his neck. "Dat's what I've been tryin' to tell ya, boss! Warboss Grimgul has called a Waaagh!"

The pressure in Nafzug's head intensified, but he no longer cared. In fact, he smiled showign a mouthful of sharp yellow fangs. He grabbed has assistant by the ear and dragged the yowling grot through the growing crowd. "C'mon Noblitt, we iz goin' to war!"

It was time to round up the boyz and get to work.

More to come soon...

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